Who knew I could juggle!

Here's a blog that I saved as a draft many months ago...I'm a bit frustrated with myself because I fell through with my commitment to keep blogging.  A lot has changed since this blog was written so I must keep up.  I'm going to try again. Meanwhile, enjoy the blast from the past.

Here's just an example of the daily juggle that comes with motherhood. 

I was nursing Liam the other day and Sam came running up the stairs saying he had to poop.  Hal is nowhere to be seen so I mange to juggle a baby hanging off my nipple with one arm and lifting a 40 lbs kid onto the toilet with the other.  Then comes the wiping.  I'm begging Sam to stay on the toilet until I am done feeding Liam but he says he is done and insists on getting off smearing poop all over the toilet seat.  This "wiping" job just got ten times messier.  Liam gets a short meal and tossed in the crib while I clean up Sam who is waiting for me bent over his his arse in the air.  I clean everything up, get Sam to wash his hands ("I want soap on both hands...the water is too fast...the water is too hot...I need more soap..."), I wash up myself and run to the crying baby who is covered in spit up now because I didn't burp him in time.  I balance Liam on one hip and yank the crib sheet off his mattress then get Liam cleaned up and dressed again for him to only poop 2 minutes later where I then have to get him half undressed and cleaned up again.  While I'm changing his diaper I notice a stinging sensation on my chest and I take a took to only notice blood on my bra and the sensitive flesh on my nipple cracking.  SIGH!!!  But no time to deal with it.  There is a toddler down stairs that is far too quiet and this must only mean trouble so I'll just have to deal with it later tonight... unfortunately that's about 5 more feedings away. 

So I can juggle.  As exhausting as it is, it oddly enough makes me kind of proud.  I never thought I would have so much strength as a woman until I became a mother.  The selflessness it requires to take care of these angels is a powerful.  The sacrifices I have made and continue to make are numerous but the lesson I am always trying to learn is how to balance it out.  I may have to put off my self care at times for my children's sake but I MUST take care of me.  Some how, some way.